T'was A Lie
by Images of Broken Light
Summary: The Joker reached for the microphone. “Good evening my dear dark knight. I’m so glad that you could join me. Tonight, I've exhibited for you, free of charge, the realities of life, death, lies and madness." A tribute to The Killing Joke.


The Joker smirked as he strolled along the deserted promenade of Amusement Mile. Everything was in perfect readiness. He could see the Bat arriving; it was almost showtime.

But not quite yet. With a dismissive wave of his hand, the Joker sent six Arkham escapees running to confront Batman at the front gates. They didn't need instructions. They all knew exactly what had to be done.

He continued walking until he reached the Ghost House. He glanced quickly over his shoulder and, when he saw that he was still alone, he pushed the double doors open and entered. He left one slightly ajar as he moved into the building; the Bat needed to know where to go, after all.

The security cameras followed the Joker's movements as he stalked through the passageways, ensuring that all the actors were in their positions and the props were in place. As he reached his hidden box, he could hear the door creak open, followed by the heavy footsteps of the Bat. He grinned and disappeared into the security room, locking the door behind him before he went and sat in the chair before the wall of televisions. Showtime.

Batman moved between the televisions as the security cameras watched him. He was moving slowly, cautiously. It was dark in there. The Joker smiled and flicked a switch, watching on the screens as a row of lights turned on, illuminating the darkness and pointing his guest in the right direction.

The Joker reached for the microphone as Batman moved into the next room. "Goo_d_ evening my _dear_ dark knigh_t_." He watched Batman's head turn in search of the source of his voice. "I'm _so_ gla_d_," he continued, "tha_t_ you coul_d_ join me." He could see the Bat's lips move. "Huh uh Bats. I can'_t_ hear you. And, you'd _bet_ter get moving. You migh_t_ _save_ one of them."

That got his attention. As he ran from one television screen to the next, the Joker grinned. "Do you _re_memb_er_ that time in the in_terr_ogation room? I tol_d_ you _so_ much." He frowned and sucked his teeth. "You didn'_t_ list_en_." He chuckled, letting the microphone catch it. "You shoul_d_ have." He watched as Batman entered the first room. "Tell me Ba_t_s," he said as he flicked a switch and the darkened stage flooded with fluorescent light. "Wha_t_ way will her head _roll_?"

Taking pride of place in the centre of the stage was a giant guillotine and, strapped to it was a struggling woman with duct tape on her mouth and a shaven head, wearing an old, tattered dress. "Like my _Marie_ Antoinette?" The Joker drawled in a poor attempt at a French accent. As Batman made the connection and began to run towards her, the Joker cackled and pulled the first lever. "And off with her head!" He yelled as the blade fell and sliced her head clean off. As it dropped into the basket below, a hidden board on a spring bounced back, flinging her head across the room and into the Bat's chest. The Joker howled in laughter as he saw the disgusted look on Batsy's face as the head bounced off and hit the ground with a wet smack. The eyes were still open.

"Ya see," he sighed heavily into the microphone. "_She_ was a schemer." The Bat ignored him and ran to the next room. "She _claimed_ it was all for their. Own. _Good_. But she _lied_," he hissed into the microphone. "I_t_ was all a _lie_. A _mag_nificen_t_ lie. And they _turned _on her." He hit the switch for that room and the next stage lit up; another guillotine, another victim.

This one was a man, sharply dressed in a business suit again, with duct tape covering his mouth. "He's the _head_ of the board, Ba_ts_ and," Batman ran forwards as the Joker cackled and pulled the leaver, releasing the blade, "I'm _bored_ of his _head_." Batman didn't wait for the head to hit the basket and bounce out; he was already running to the next room.

The Joker flicked the switch for the next room, revealing two stages, two guillotines, two victims each similarly bound and gagged. "Bring bac_k_ memories Batsy? Wha_t_ are you _wait_ing for? Here's where we _all_ ge_t_ _a head_." The blonde man on the right shook his head as the Bat turned to look at him. The brunette woman was crying as Batman ran to her. As the Joker pulled the third lever, Batman flung a batarang at the blade. The Joker laughed manically when it did nothing and the woman lost her head anyway. A moment later, there was a second thud as the man's head hit the floor. "Failed _again_, did ya Bats? Don'_t_ worry, there's always the _next_ time."

But Batman was already sprinting to the next room. As he emerged into the darkness, the Joker paused for a moment, before flicking the switch and revealing the long hallway. The Joker smiled as the six new guillotines came into view. "Wha_t_ made _you?_" He paused as Batman made a desperate dash to the first guillotine, where a young woman was strapped. He let Batman get almost close enough to save her before pulling the next lever and letting the blade slice her head off. "A _wife_ you couldn'_t_ save?" The head bounced on the floor as he sprinted to the pair guillotines waiting a few metres away. The elderly man and woman tried to scream for help as Batman got tauntingly close before the Joker pulled the next lever and the pair of blades came down together, slicing their necks. Their heads bounced on the floor. "_Parents_ who couldn_'t_ save _you_? Am I getting _warm_ Bats?"

The next, a chubby man wearing black hocky pads and a poor imitation of Batman's cowl, lost his head before Batman even got close enough to see his face properly. "Are you _try_ing to _save_ yourself?" Batman kept running, heading to the next, where a man, dressed like Commissioner Gordon was lying very still, his eyes closed tightly. "Wha_t_ are you _try_ing to _prove_?" He asked as he pulled the leaver, releasing the blade that send the pseudo-Commissioner's head bouncing across the floor. Batman kept running, still trying to get to the last one before it was too late. The last one was further away. "_All_ of those people were _schemers_," the Joker said as the Bat ran. "_None_ were _worth_ saving." As he neared the guillotine, Batman could see that the last one was dressed as the Joker. He kept running as the Joker taunted him. "They _plot_ and _scheme_ and _lie_ and they all deserve what _Marie_ Antoinette go_t_."

In his little box of a room, the Joker stood up. "You're _not_ one of _them_." He pulled the last lever. On the screen, his lookalike's head bounced on the floor at Batman's feet. "_They_ call me _crazy_ but you're the _same_." He flicked the last light switch and left the security room. Batman caught up to him by the time the Joker reached the exit. The ensuing grapple was short-lived; the Joker had made his point and capture wasn't a problem. Despite the extra security, Arkham Asylum still had paper bag walls.

As the Joker watched the Bat walk away, leaving him tied up for the authorities to claim as their own capture, he saw the Bat cast a quick glance at the Ghost House. "It's a _lie_," he said. "The _schemers_ are the source of _trouble_ and _pain_. _Sever_ them and you'll be rid of the _agony_ that made _you_ a Ba_t_ and _me_ a clown." Batman stopped in his tracks. The Joker laughed. "But you _won't_ do it. Because you're _mad_. You're jus_t_ as ma_d_ as _me._" The Bat shook his head as he walked away, leaving the Joker laughing to himself.


End file.
